Being an Open Book

One communication characteristic people share is if they have something they want to say, then the say it. Yes, people may "hold their tongue" on occasion, but eventually they will share what is on their mind. Granted, it may not always be before or to the intended audience. Nevertheless, thoughts are not kept buried forever. For instance, an employee may be frustrated with their supervisor but understandably choose not to share their thoughts with that boss. Still, the frustrated worker will in all likelihood let someone know of their discontent. Also, they may actually communicate their feelings via the quality of their work or their attitude while on the job. All of us make known our feelings and/or thoughts on some level and in some way. None of us "keep a lid on it" as well as we might think.

I am reminded of former president Ulysses Grant and the tail end of his life. As a result of putting his trust in the wrong people and how own misguided judgment regarding his finances, as described in his outstanding 2017 biography of Grant, author Ron Chernow captures Grant's obsession of regaining what he lost by agreeing to write his autobiography, a project he had previously been reluctant to undertake. What added even more urgency to this venture was the fact Grant had been diagnosed with cancer. Doctors agreed it was only a matter of time before his end. For Grant, it was a time when he decided to share thoughts he had been content to keep to himself.  In the span of just a few months, the former president put down over 360,000 words and produced what historians view as being one of the finest presidential memoirs ever.

My point in all this is that rare is the person who literally keeps their thoughts to themselves. Thus, given the inevitability of communicating what is one our mind, it is important that we focus more on determining ways to effectively share rather than withhold. "Biting our tongues" may be something we do from time to time, but that does not last long. At the end of the day, all of us are "open books." As a result, our challenge is to be open in a way that communicates what is inside of us in a manner that is understandable, respectful and not off-putting.