Questions About Yelling

Raising our voices is something pretty much all of us do when we get angry. We are upset and seem to feel a need and desire to shout or yell. But does that make us feel better? Does yelling make our anger go away or, at the very least, take the air out of it? I am not sure it does. Is yelling a natural progression of anger? What happens after that? Is it some sort of physical act such as lashing out at someone, throwing something or some other form of physical exertion designed to do harm or destroy? Inside us, do we each carry around within us a kind of internal Hulk that knows little else but to smash?

Is there a way to express our anger without yelling? The answer, of course, is "yes." I see that as a good thing but recognize being angry without yelling is not easy to achieve. I view it is an aspect of communication that requires discipline. Getting angry by itself is not necessarily a bad thing as it is as much part of our disposition as laughing. The challenge is found is being able to control the release or unveiling of that anger without being destructive to others or to property. Anger is an emotion that is about us. Someone may make me mad but how I express that feeling is about me, not the root cause of that feeling.

As each of us constantly wrestle with ways to most effectively express ourselves, when it comes to anger and wanting to yell, the question becomes, "Is that the best way to communicate what we are thinking and feeling?" Yes, we may be upset but is raising our voice the most effective way to impart what is driving that emotion? A raised voice certainly tells others that we are upset. But does it explain why we are upset or does it leave open a door for extended conversation or dialog? Are those on the receiving end of our yelling more or less apt to properly listen to us if our voices are raised? Yelling as an act of communication is not uncommon, but it is a tool that one should think through before using.