Caregiving

There are few - if any - bigger points of responsibility than having someone under one's care. Whether it is a child or another adult, to be responsible for another's well being, including their safety, health and ability to deal with their own challenges on any given day, this is a major weight to carry and one not to be taken lightly. I admire all caregivers and the effort they make to do well by others. Such effort, in many ways, represents the best of all of us because it showcases a willingness to look beyond one's own needs and wants and give those of others at least equal if not higher priority. Full-disclosure: I share this philosophy of mine as one who subscribes to the notion that we are all "our brother's keeper."

As it is with all relationships, the caregiver/caretaker dynamic is not without challenge and comes with no guarantee that it will be smooth or successful. Effective communicating must occur for that to happen. Having said that, we must not forget the reality that no effort to communicate is successful all the time, regardless of how well-intentioned or thought-out it might be. Another noteworthy point of reality is that communication between a person who is needy and one who is able to meet those needs is tricky because the balance between the two is not equal. One has power over the other due to a range of variables, including age, experience, expertise, health, and how others perceive them.

The first and perhaps primary ingredient in such a relationship is respect. The caregiver is not better than the person they are striving to help. Even if the person that one is striving to care for is a five-year-old child, that little boy or girl or is just as valuable as the adult who is watching over them. It is the same if the person being cared for is a 90-year-old invalid. The circumstance of each does not lessen their value or worth. They deserve respect just as much as the caregiver. Respect, in this dynamic, must include a commitment to maintaining an ongoing and full dialog - speaking with and not speaking at. That may not be easy at times but it is vital.