Suicide

I was in the eleventh grade in high school when I had my first introduction to suicide. One of the guys that I had lunch with every day died by his own hand. It happened over a weekend. I remember that all of us had just plopped down at the table at which we usually ate and cut-up until it was time to return to classes. Somebody asked, "Hey. Where's Jim?" Several seconds of silence passed when another spoke up, "Didn't you hear, " he said. "Jim killed himself this weekend." A lot more than seconds passed before any one said anything. We all began asking questions. Are you sure? What happened? What was wrong? None of us ever did learn exactly what was happening that made Jim decide to end his own life. He was barely old enough to drive, yet had reached a point in his thinking that death was more appealing than life. He no longer wanted to endure whatever emotional pain he was feeling. Even now, over a half century later, the memory of this tragedy gives me pause. Suicide was a thing "out there" that perhaps a one would hear about in the news or if a celebrity took their life. Yet here it was at what felt like my own doorstep. A person I actually knew, talked to, laughed with, had turned down that one-way path. Forever. I mention this incident to drive home a key point about communication. This guy was a close friend of mine, yet I had no clue as to the depth of his inner pain. Perhaps he was giving me signals that I failed to pick up on. Even if he was not, one thing I failed to do was reach out. Never mind that we talked nearly every day at school. His unexpected passing made me realize that all of us should never stop communicating with each other in meaningful ways. This includes asking hearfelt questions and then making a point of listening to what responses are given. Communicating well can help all of us feel as if we are not alone.