Communication Overkill

I do not know the exact name of it, but at some point in our lives most of us have played the game involving a number of people who pass a message to each other. The game usually begins with participants sitting in a circle. One person then whispers a message of some sort into the ear of the person next to them. That second person then whispers the same message into the ear of the person next to them and so on. The message is eventually passed to everyone in the circle until it gets to the last person who says it out loud. Almost always the message has gone through some degree of alteration. It is always fun - and surprising - to see just how much the message has changed from what is was at the beginning to the end.

This simple parlor game serves as a stark reminder of how well we people communicate in terms of what we say and how well we listen. Granted, this will never serve as scientific evidence of our communication abilities but the game does present us with a good snapshot. I am reminded of this game as I and millions of others are subjected to the avalanche of messages in this year's presidential campaign. The two major political parties, their candidates and many spokesmen and women are throwing their talking points at us non-stop and will continue to do so for the next two and a half months. The question is how effective will their messages be? More to the point, how well are we or will we be listening?

It is one thing to have to contend with a single message but quite another to have to process multiple messages being given by multiple people via multiple formats and multiple channels of communication. Given this overwhelming dynamic, it is not surprising that people are either tuning-out all that is being said to them, claim to have already made up their minds about which candidates they are supporting and therefore are no longer listening to what others say, or are finding the whole election process to be totally confusing and off-putting.  If there is such a thing as over-communicating, then this is it. Sadly, the so-called communication experts for each of the major parties do not seem to be learning anything from this. They simply keep raising their voices rather than seeking other ways to communicate more effectively. That is too bad for all of us.

Festine lente

Recently, I came across a Latin phrase: festine lente. I was struck by how this applies to communication. (No, I cannot read Latin. But what I can read is the English translation of Latin.) In this case, this Latin phrase means "make haste slowly." In a time when so many of us seem to want instant change in virtually all phases of our lives where we feel change is warranted, I find wisdom in this phrase. The act of communicating, by definition, speaks to change. We communicate with another person, for instance, and things between and about us are no longer the same - even if that interaction is brief or without consequence.

 Communication also represents an accumulation of one's past interactions.  Granted, it may not always feel like it, but with each interaction or encounter comes an opportunity to build on what we know or have learned in the past and apply it to the moment. Ideally, this also helps us develop better skills to make solid connections with others. These connections do not happen instantly, but as a result of sustained communication efforts. They enable us to begin moving down a path that can and often does result in meaningful linkages or partnerships. This, then, supports the notion that effective communication or public relations is a long-term effort.

So-called instant connections are over immediately after they have been made. They are fun, exciting, and short-lived. They only have a shelf-life when effort is made by all parties to give wings to that bonding. That phase takes time and nurturing, two elements which help comprise the essence of effective communication. I would say that most, if not all of us, love the instant connection. Many of us would also agree for that moment to last requires a willingness to work, collaborate, and communicate in an open and respectful manner. This truism applies to personal as well as professional relationships.

New Definition

Earlier this year, the Public Relations Society of America announced its new official definition of "public relations." This definition, which they are billing as "a modern definition for the new era of public relations," represents the result of a year-long effort in which a multitude of practitioners and scholars provided input into not only what the definition should be but also what concepts regarding human interaction it should speak to. Many suggestions were made. Finally, a public vote was taken and the following prevailed: "Public relations is a strategic communication process that builds mutually beneficial relationships between organizations and their publics."

Overall, I like it. The primary reason for this is because it speaks to the importance of long-term partnerships as a primary objective of any public relations effort. It has been my long-time belief that the establishment and maintenance of a sustained relationship between various publics or entities represents public relations at its best. People can and often do come together on a one-time or short-term basis. The challenge is to build a bridge that is so strong and encompassing that people develop a lasting commitment to either each other or to what they have both believe. The result is a solid partnership or collaboration. What began as an interaction turns into a bond.

One interesting aspect of this definition, however, is an omission of the word "ethics" or any reference to ethical behavior. In their announcement of the new definition, PRSA explained this was intentional. They said an overwhelming majority of those who contributed to the definition expressly insisted that "ethics" not be mentioned. Unfortunately, they did not provide an explanation. However, PRSA continues to insist that it remains firmly behind the value of ethical public relations. In fact, it announced plans to include ethics in a values statement about the definition of public relations. I hope so. When it comes to interaction and collaboration, strong ethics is the glue.

Only Human

Those who work professionally in the communication field start off each day with at least one, if not two strikes against. Working with clients and carrying out various communication plans and strategies, their goal is all about control. Control the message. Control their client's talking points. Control media access to their client. Control the timing and staging of any public events. Control the timing of when messages are made public. Control who speaks to the public, including the media.  The list goes on and on. These professionals operate in an environment where control is the driving element. Unfortunately, we - and they - live in a world where control is little more than an illusion.

What adds to their uphill climb is the fact that these dedicated professionals are only human. Like the rest of us, they have only a limited amount of patience. . They can only go so long without adequate sleep. They can and do get distracted. They are subject to such emotions as frustration, anger, and bias. Bottom line: they are as imperfect as the rest of us despite the fact that so many of them are quite good at what they do.  Professional communicators, like the rest of us, have bad days and sometimes act in unprofessional ways. This does make them less than what they are. Rather, it makes them human.

I mention this in the context of a recent outburst by one of press people working for this year's Republican Party nominee for President Mitt Romney. While traveling abroad with the candidate, one of the professional communicators on Romney's staff reportedly told reporters to "kiss my ass." The press, not surprisingly, has been giving this outburst a lot of coverage. Granted, it was not that particular person's shining hour and, yes, what he said was a mistake. My guess is at this point his boss has probably given him a well deserved verbal talking-to. Given that, let's move on. I, for one, think we need to give his guy a break. His behavior was out of frustration and probably not like something many of us would have done had our roles been reversed. I just hope for his sake he does not do it again.  

Teaching Engagement

Much is being written and talked about how our education system needs to be improved. There is no doubt that education in America does need impoving. If our country is going to regain its international dominance in such fundamental areas as science and math, then we are definitely going to have to start implementing comprehensive adjustments. But as my primary focus in this blog is communication, I want to zero in on how improving the communication skills of students can and should be addressed at all levels of education, beginning in kindergarten. It boils down to one word: engagement.

Presently, education revolves around two concepts: passing along facts and then teaching students how to use or apply those facts in other classes and, ultimately, the so-called real world. A third leg to this stool needs to be added. Students should be taught how to share those facts with others. We live in a society where our ability to communicate with others is not nearly as strong as it should be. As I have written countless times before, there is too much "talking at" and not enough "talking with" that occurs. One key reason for this is that people are not as competent in the act of interaction as they should be. Consequently, they do not do it very well or often.

This can be addressed. Via creative classroom exercises and even tests, students can learn how to engage in interactions with others in ways that are non-threatening or argumentative. Teaching the art of respectful conversation may seem trivial, but given the reality of our day-to-day lives as we grow into adulthood, such a skill very much has a real-life application. This skill can be taught and reinforced throughout a student's entire education, including college.  Further, the good news is this can be applied to any subject matter, not just English class. More of us need to be able to communicate better. After all, we are dealing with so many of the same issues.

Regaining the High Bar

From time to time over the years I have been doing this blog I have decried what I see as a decline in the communication efforts of of our citizens. What continues to trouble me the most is as people interact there seems to be an increasing amount of what I call "talking at" that occurs rather than "talking with." Our desire or ability to listen and actually engage with others - even for a few moments - is eroding. I see this as contributing to a growing feeling of disenfranchisement among people that, in turn, is leading to a shift in what we consider to be most important in life: tangible achievement or gaining attention. Unfortunately, gaining attention seems to have the upper hand.

Ironically, one contributing factor to this is social media. This great technological advancement, in terms of communication as revolutionary as anything we have known since the invention of the telegraph, has become a great enabler to our current shift in life's priorities. What better way to gain attention or get noticed by more people than was ever before possible than via Facebook or twitter?  Even doing something mundane such as going out to dinner and then commenting on the quality of the food and restaurant generates attention, some from people one does not even know. This is definitely a sign of the times.  

Do not misunderstand. I see nothing wrong with the exchanges that occur via social media. What is of growing concern is how this seems to be giving people the false impression that collecting thousands of followers on twitter or friends on Facebook, for instance, represents meaningful achievement. It does not. Social media is easy. Achievement is not. Seeking to achieve represents a higher bar. For us to be the best we can be for ourselves and society, then that higher bar is the one we need and should shoot for. Those involved in the communication profession, either as scholars or practitioners, can play a key role in this. I will have more to come on this.

Look at Me!

I am a proud product of little league baseball. Even though it seems like it was over 100 years ago when I played for the Giants and, later, the Tigers, I do think back to those times with fondness. As the years passed from time to time I would watch the kids play a few innings and smile as the contended with ground balls, running bases and swinging the bat. The mere fact they were suited up and on the field  trying so hard to play well made them shine in my eyes. Invariably, during the course of each game at least one of the players from the field would wave to his parents as if to say, "Look at me!." The parents, of course, would smile and wave back.

The exchange of waves was heartfelt. It seemed to say, at least for a few moments, the game itself was of little if any consequence. What was important was the participation. To me, the wave between child and parents was a silent reaffirmation of this. Fast forwarding to the present, from time to time I skim Facebook and Twitter entries and see striking similarities. In this case, instead of youngsters waving from the field, it is older individuals who are waving from the Internet with messages that share their thoughts on movies, weekend adventures or how well they slept the night before.  People, inevitably, wave back with comments that either acknowledge what was just written or by adding their own opinions on the subject.

As wonderful and technologically-advanced as social media is, there is very much a strong "look at me" component to it that I am unconvinced adds much, if anything, to the game of life in which we are involved. Staying it touch with friends via the Internet is fine. Making new friends that way is fine, too. But as the popularity of this form of communication continues to grow while the level of exchange remains the same, I am concerned we may be making the mistake of confusing enhancing our visibility this way with actual achievement. The two are far from the same. This lowers the bar as to what is actual achievement, thus detracting from the quality of our society. Like those little leaguers, perhaps we should be paying more attention to ground balls, running bases and swinging bats.