"Tough Crowd"

A number of years ago I was invited to speak to a group of people as their after dinner speaker. Actually, I was asked to step in for the person the group had originally asked to be with them. Close enough. The one thing I remember about this experience is that during my talk I told a joke and it absolutely died. It was so bad and so poorly received that I could not even hear crickets chirping in the distance. It was a very embarrassing moment. This is why, to this day, I have great empathy for non-comedians like myself who try to be funny in front of a large group of people but aren't. While I know humor can be a great devise for helping establish a connection with others, unless you have a sure-fire joke or funny story to tell, it is also something that should probably be avoided by most of us who occasionally are called upon to stand at a podium and yak at a bunch of people.

Very recently, I spoke to another group of people. Did I tell another joke? Yes. But this time it was received more warmly than my first attempt that still haunts me to this day. Beside the joke itself, what was the difference? Between that first experience and this most recent time, I have learned that audiences generally are not ready for humor from a speaker they do not know or have not, at least, heard of. If you as the speaker are going to try and make them laugh, then you need to let them get to know you better; relax with you; gain a better sense of you as a person. The way to do that in the scenario of giving a public speech is by - are you ready? - speaking. My advise is to not let out with your joke or jokes right away. Give the audience and give yourself time to warm up to each other. At that point you can unleash your inner Henny Youngman.

I teach public relations and have come to rely upon humor in a big way to connect with my students. But even in that situation I do not joke around until the students and I have gained a better sense of each other. As it is when one is talking with a reporter, your main objective is to stay true to the points are need to get across. Rarely are jokes the best way to go. Save them for later. In fact, when in doubt, stay away from the humor altogether. Leave it to the professionals or for when you and colleagues are gathered around the office water cooler.