Bedside Manner

There's an old show tune that claims people either have style or they don't. Personally, I believe everyone has it. It is just that everyone's style is different. It could be in the way a person dresses or in the way they carry themselves when they walk across a room. For better or worse, whatever distinguishes us from each other is our style. This certainly is true when it comes to communication. Take doctors, for instance. In my life as I have lived in different places and have had a range of bumps and bruises over the years. As a result, I have dealt with, coped with, endured and, yes, even enjoyed a range of physicians. All were competent but not all had a good bedside manner.

Not all gave me the sense they really cared about my well being even though I assume they did. Other doctors, on the other hand, made me believe my well being was as important to them as if I were a member of their own family. When they asked me how I was doing, those particular doctors actually seemed to listen to my reply. They did so by looking directly at me, nodding as I talked, asking questions when appropriate, and not fidgeting with their equipment or tools. Sometimes the doctor would even share some information about him or herself and their own lives. At the end of the appointment I would feel as if the doctor and I were collaborators in working to ensure I remained in good health. By exhibiting this kind of active listening, these particular doctors provided me with a much better medical experience even if what was ailing me in the first place was placing me under significant stress and discomfort.

I prefer this kind of bedside manner when it comes to dealing with doctors. For that matter, I prefer it when I am interacting with most everyone. It is that kind of style that is conducive to meaningful exchanges and, ultimately, ties that bind. Unfortunately, not everyone exhibits this kind of communication style. (I am no longer talking about doctors now.) Their manner is brisk and business like. Their eye contact is fleeting. Their ability or desire to listen is minimal. They do not give out feelings of warmth or regard. In essence, their style of communication is cold and lacking in humanity. Effective communication happens when one displays a good bedside manner. We all have that kind of style within us. It is a simple matter of thinking about how alone we feel when we talked at in a cold and abrupt manner and then deciding not to treat others that way. How our take on life would improve if more people showed that side of themselves!