Communication and Aging

It is my unfounded or untested theory that the moment we are born we display the ability to be effective and well-rounded communicators. First, we want to be heard. Either we cry out on our own or are helped along when a doctor or other attendant gives us a gentle pat on the bottom. Before you know it, we are making our first pronouncement to the world with the cry: "I'm here!" Within seconds of our first outcry we are responding or listening to what is being communicated to us - the warmth and affection of our mother or the comfort of a warm cloth - and quiet down, become cuddly and return the affection we are being given. And, thus, our entry into the world represents the beginning of our lives as communicators. Perhaps it is beginner's luck or maybe it is the fact we have an innate instinct to utilize two-way communication, but I view our first moments in and of life to be a good example of healthy communication.

Unfortunately, the older we get the less we seem to be able to maintain a healthy balance between speaking and listening. For many of us, age appears to enhance a desire or even a need on our part to be heard and lessen any inclination within us to want to listen to others. That's too bad because never is an ability to listen effectively more important to us than when we are older. After all, the older we get the more we need others. Therefore, it behooves us to do all we can to encourage people to want to be around us and tolerate our idiosyncrasies, accept our frailties and give us a hand on that inevitable day when we have difficulty standing on our own.

Is our decline as effective communicators necessary? Does it have to happen? Are we doomed to descend into being active proponents of one-way communication? Is there anything we can and should do to recapture that first success as a two-way communicator the day of our own personal world premiere? My response to those questions reflects my believe that with age comes a natural decline in all aspects of our lives, including and especially communication. For instance, I sure cannot run as fast as I used to. Nor am I always able to call up specific words at specific moments with the relative ease I used to possess. And now, at the beginning days of my seventh decade, am I always in the mood to hear out others like I used. But the good news is I recognize the importance of listening like never before and therefore work harder at it than I ever did. I must say the positives of that effort far outweigh the negatives. For me, at least, the moral of this observation is that as our talents and strengths decline, we need to pick the ones that are worth fighting to maintain and keep viable. For me, one is the ability to achieve two-way communication.