Two Voice Thoughts

I am going to go out on a limb and say the one person we talk with most during any of our days is ourselves. Sure, we may "dish the dirt" with our best friend, share thoughts with our spouses, and even exchange pleasantries with an assortment of colleagues, acquaintances or even strangers. But even if we were to combine all the time we spend conversing with those folks, I do not believe it would match or even come close to that which we spend talking with ourselves. Let's face it: our inner voice is a non-stop talking machine. Whether what it is saying is silly, inappropriate, insightful, mean, kind, provocative, or clever, it has our "ear" like nothing else.

Our inner voice represents what the late jazz critic Roger Pryor Dodge termed our "two voice thoughts." One voice is what we say to ourselves and the other what we share with others. Sometimes the voices are in-sync while other times they are not. For a variety of reasons, sometimes we choose to share with another only part of what our inner voice has said to us. And sometimes we throw the door wide open and let others know everything our inner voice is saying. At best, some may judge such a decision to be totally honest. Others may view it as being rude or risky. Either way, sharing our inner voice is the act of turning two voice thoughts into one voice statements.

A constant challenge in any act of communication is deciding when to release all or part of that inner voice. A person asks us how we like their new suit. Our inner voice may respond by saying "It looks nice except it's too big for you." But our outer voice may simply respond by saying, "Very nice, Bob." Two voices yet which one, in our judgment, is most appropriate to share? Sometimes the answer to that is easy and others it is quite hard. Such is the on-going dilemma for all who communicate. Part of the solution is found in how we assess our audience and our connection with them.