Mutual back scratching is one of those rare things that actually is as good as it sounds. Taken literally, it refers to my offering to scratch a person's back if they, in turn, agree to scratch my back.. Though one person may be a better back-scratcher than another, such a collaboration generally is a win-win for all concerned. In a more broad sense, this speaks to the essence of cooperation, two people working together for the purpose of getting their needs met. Assuming each party carries out their part of the agreement, mutual back scratching helps reduce the possibility of conflict, lowers levels of tension, and paves the way for steady progress for many rather than a few.
Such a joint act speaks to the inclination individuals have to serve their self interest while also addressing their fundamental need to connect with others. As sociologist Edward O. Wilson once wrote: it reconciles that part of us that favors individual selection with another part that leans toward group selection. For communicators, the challenge comes with devising messages that assure prospective collaborators of the benefits that await should they agree to work together. For couples, the benefit is joint happiness and fufullment. For business, the benefit is profit. For nations, the benefit is peace.
A slang expression of such a dynamic is "tit for tat;" another with a more negative connotation is "eye for an eye." In today's world, a good deal of antagonism seems to exist where few seem to be trying to work with others or build on what they all might have in common. Whether it is in politics, international relations, marriages or economics, that kind of joining goes a long way toward achieving wide spread harmony. Who among us would not like to see that? So, communicators have their work cut out for them. Promote mutual back scratching. Open the minds and hearts of all to the joy of practicing collaboration.
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