Author Jules Verne once described science as being a series of mistakes that eventually leads to the truth. Communication, I believe, can be characterized similarily. In the efforts of scientists, their work is comprised of conducting experiments to resolve a puzzle or pinpoint the answer to a dilemma of some sort. The drive to identify a cure for cancer is a good example. It has been going on for years and while no single cure in, say, the form of a magic pill has been found, progress has been made. The experiments represent the steps toward the ultimate answer. Pain-staking trial and error. Stops and starts. Final stop: the truth.
Sustained, effective communication is not dissimilar. Two people come together. Perhaps they are co-workers who have been assigned by a boss to collaborate on a project. Or maybe they are on a first date and are striving to find common ground to make their time together pleasant. Or maybe an entrepreneur is seeking to connect with a targeted segment of the population to sell his or her product. In all three cases, testing out various strategies is likely to occur before "the truth" is identified. For co-workers, mistakes occur in their brainstorming to come up with a workable gameplan. Individuals ask each other questions. Entrepreneurs initiate test marketing.
The point here is that rarely, if ever, does successful communication occur without a stretch of false starts. People test the waters. They probe. They even, at times, step outside their comfort zone in order to eventually attain the desired result: connection. It takes time, can be frustrating, and requires non-stop nurturing. If you are thinking that is a lot of work, then go to the head of the class. Science is hard and so, too, is effective communication. The pay-off, of course, is immensely satisfying for those involved and even others indirectly. But one should never think they can communicate effectively without due diligence.
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