It's All About the Tone

Most will agree communicating effectively is challenging enough. Trying to be understood represents an ongoing effort much like trying to keep one's hair in-place during a wind storm. You either remain vigilant or you just let it go and hope for the best. The challenge is amplified greatly when the people trying to connect do not even speak the same language. At that point, communicating effectively is akin to trying to keep their hair in-place in a wind storm without a comb. Chances of success of any kind are, shall we say, greatly reduced. Maybe not impossible but darn close.

This leads me to an encounter I had recently with a waitress in China. She was very nice and eager to help provide me with a positive culinary experience. I was hungry and wanted to fill my tummy. Not being the most adventurous person when it comes to eating, I settled on pizza and coke. In very broken English, she explained the pizza would not be ready for 30 minutes but that she would bring me my drink right away. My problem was I did not want the coke by itself because I would end up drinking it before the pizza arrived and then either have to eat the food without drink or order a second drink when the order finally arrived. I decided to ask her to bring out the drink with the pizza. This, however, proved to be quite a challenge.

I tried explaining this but without success. Several minutes of failing to communicate a simple request passed. I was becoming frustrated and she was becoming upset at my frustration. She did not know what I was trying to say but could tell easily I was becoming increasingly exasperated by the sharp tone in my voice.  I finally realized that I needed to lower the tension in my voice or our interaction was going to become a total flop. This experience served as a reminder of how it is not just word-choice that determines successful communication. It is also the sound of our voice.  That, too, can spell the difference between being effective or not. One more reason why communication remains an ongoing challenge.