Different Perceptions

It was the first day of another semester of classes. As usual, there was lots hustle and bustle as students scrambled to formally begin doing what they were signed up to do. This activity included us teachers. I walked into what I thought was my classroom only to see another class had been assigned to what I thought was my room. I immediately went to the nearest administrative office for help on where my class had been reassigned. Within minutes the person I asked for help located the room to where I had been shifted. Almost immediately I was standing in front of my new class. The semester was officially underway.

The next day I happened to run into the person who helped me find my new classroom. I thanked him for his help the day before. I expected a "your welcome" or "no problem," but instead received a blank stare. It turns out he had forgotten about the incident. This happens in communication. One person views the exchange as important while the other places little or no significance in it. One result of this is that the parties put different levels of energy into their encounter. This can and often does affect the effectiveness of the exchange itself. In my case, the encounter worked out just fine but this was an exception.

The question is what do when something like this occurs. If one of the participants an exchange as important, then it behooves them to inform the other of their perspective. Do not assume another person sees things the way you do. Interestingly, such a mistake is not uncommon. We assume people know how we are feeling because it is so clear to us. Often times they do not. For communication to have the best chance of being successful, then all parties must be "on the same page" as to its degree of gravity. This is only achieved when both parties are as clear as possible about what they are thinking and even feeling.