More on Families

In my most recent blog entry I talked about the challenges that come with communicating with family. Specifically, I believe, a great deal more sensitivity is called for because the dynamic between family members is driven more by the heart than it is the head. This, however, is not to say that communicating with non-family members does not have a lot of similarities with communicating with family members. Being respectful and open, helping establish a two-way exchange, and not making any effort to deceive are elements that can and should be found in any kind of exchange. The difference, generally, is found more in expections or anticipated results.

When it comes to communicating with non-family members, a matter of driving home specific points comes into play. Winning an argument. Competition. With non-family members there is more of a concern for maintaining the relationship. While such a consideration certainly comes into play, it is not the primary factor regarding non-family. All of us argue or have differences with family members, of course. But when we do so it is with an understanding that this person with who we are butting heads is always going to be part of our lives. Consequently, how they are feeling throughout and after a negative exchange matters.

While I do not like arguing with co-workers, to pick one non-family group, I recognize my relationship with that kind of person will never be permanent. That means, with them, my focus is far more on the topic than it is the feelings that are fueling the debate/discussion. I know that five years from now my brother - if I had one - is still going to be my brother. I cannot say that about a co-worker. I want to make sure my brother is ok both me and overall after whatever heated exchange we might have. With a non-family member, it is not nearly as critical. How a family is feeling outweighs whether I may have "won" our disagreement.