An Imperfect Union

Isn't it amazing that all of us share this same planet, possess so many similar traits and characteristics, have many of the same needs and desires, yet spend so much of our time not getting along? We seem to devote untold amounts of energy and time trying to get others to understand us or else trying to figure out what others are hiding from us. And if all that isn't enough, we then seem to round out many of our days by figuring out ways to re-explain ourselves just to erase any doubt we might have that people are confused about where we are coming from. What's that all about? What does that say about us? Are we human beings really that much of an insecure mess? It sure does seem so.

Given all that we do, in fact, have in common, one would think every person on this planet of ours would absolutely overflow with understanding and empathy for everyone else. Yet, day in and day out, it seems all we see or hear and read about is conflict, conflict, and more conflict. Family members are butting heads. Congressmen are calling each other names. Media commentators seem to consistently lambaste the actions of public officials of all persuasions. Countries even take up arms against each other. One thing seems to be for sure: the human race may be dealing with shortages of water or food or shelter, but it sure has a wealth of misunderstanding. And that so-called resource seems to be growing by the day.

Looking at all this, however, my theory is that all of us actually do overflow with understanding of our fellow men and women. All the fretting and arguing we do and see around us is not due to a lack of understanding of others. What keeps us from living in a more collegial, cooperative and even peaceful manner are two things: we do not do a good job of letting others know that we do understand them; and we seem to view other perspectives as conflicting with ours as opposed to being mere extensions or off-shoots of thoughts hopes and wishes we have. Fundamentally, I see all of us wanting many of the same things out of life than not. Yet instead of devoting ourselves to communicating that message each day and then seeking ways to build on it, we focus on "talking points" that do little else but create pointless friction. It is not that we are inadequate communicators. Rather, we seem to be communicating the wrong things. That, as much as anything, is the real tragedy of the human race.

Knowing the Question

As I write this, a little later today I will be giving the students in the public relations class I teach their mid-term exam. It will be an essay exam. The test will be comprised of four questions and the students will be asked to answer any three. At our most recent class meeting, we reviewed for this mid-term and I gave the students a good sense of the topics each of the questions will cover. Many of the students walked out of the class with a sense that the test was going to be easy. From my own perspective, I view this as a false assumption, particularly as it relates to my own situation. I am currently a doctoral student. This semester I will complete the course-work phase of the program. Before moving onto my dissertation, however, I am required to take a comprehensive examination to test my field of knowledge of communication. Like the mid-term I am giving later today, it will be comprised of a a number of essay questions. And, as it is with my mid-term, the faculty members who are administering my comprehensive exam are giving me a sense of the specific topics that I will be expected to address. But unlike many of my students, I definitely do not believe my comprehensive exam is going to be easy.

Having a good sense of the question or questions in advance is a double-edge sword. The good news is that it provides you with extremely helpful direction in your preparation efforts. But on the other hand, it puts pressure on you that whatever answers you ultimately do come up with better be awfully good. It also raises the level of expectations on the part of the teachers when they eventually sit down to assess your answers. What I am trying to do with my students and what my teachers are attempting to do with me is give provide an opportunity to give serious thought to various questions and, even in a small way, advance the level of discourse about topics relating to communication. I see this is an important responsibility and I hope my students do, too.

A key to being able to communicate effectively is often found in the preparation. These steps include identifying key points, collecting pertinent information, organizing one's thoughts, and establishing a proper tone for the ultimate presentation of the message. Unfortunately, opportunities to prepare do not come along every day. Sometimes situations occur when we are called upon to communicate messages or information with little or no warning. These kind of a moments present their own special brand of challenge as it forces to draw upon whatever information they can on the spot. But while knowing the questions in advance is a different scenario, it does not make it any less of a challenge to be taken seriously and handled responsibly.

The Challenge of More Than One Perspective

It has been said many times before how there are many different ways to look at an issue. Whether the issue is big, small, important, unimportant, pressing or upcoming, each comes with its own array of looking glasses through which to gaze at it. None of these perspectives are necessarily good or bad, nor is one particularly more weighty or pressing than another. They merely exist and therefore are real. How pervasive one, several or even all the perspectives become is inevitably decided by those of us who are doing the looking and judging. A great example of this is the recent awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to President Obama. Obviously, it was and is international news and is the topic of much discussion and debate as I write this.

A number of people have expressed delight at this honor being bestowed upon our still-new president. Others have found this decision by the Nobel Committee to be outrageous and insulting. And still other perspectives have fallen somewhere in the middle of the others by being congratulatory while at the same time questioning the wisdom and timing of this particular honor on this particular individual. In attempting to interpret these mixed reactions, what is a communicator to do? Given the many responses, would one determine this to be a good thing, a bad thing, important, something to be scoffed at, or better left ignored?

Seeing as we are now just over a month away from Thanksgiving, which around our house always includes a big meal, let me make a food analogy. Final perspectives are like a freshly baked pie. They are produced as a result of combining a number of ingredients. If mixed properly and in a timely manner, the result is one's own creation that, if not edible, is at least understood and given consideration. Often times, communicators are called upon to offer their interpretation or assessment of a given issue or incident. Ideally, one's "take" on something should not be pulled from thin air but rather be the result of combining your own assessment with facts and thoughts from other sources. Once mixed together and analyzed, then the odds of you producing a viable and intelligent perspective are high. Communication is a social science and therefore should be carried out as any other scholarly field deserves: with facts and analysis. It makes the challenge of dealing with various perspectives much more interesting and orderly. It also points to the importance of communicators placing their own stamp on various issues of the day but doing so as a result of looking beyond their own perspectives.

Short Cuts

Recently, I was out running errands. Traffic, as usual, was slow and heavy. There were no real problems, but I was just not getting to my various destinations as quickly as I would have preferred. Then, I happened to think of a short cut I could take to one of the places I was headed. While sometimes so-called "short cuts" do not always work out, this one did and I managed to save myself a little time. It was a reminder of how sometimes it is the little things that can and do make life worth living. But it also got me to thinking about short cuts as they might apply to communication. Are there short cuts to effective communication?

I think not, particularly if one views the purpose of communication as being to build and maintain collaboration and partnerships that last. Ties that really bind are not built of straw or on half-promises; nor are they woven out of some kind of quick action. Rather, by their very nature, relationships are built over stretches of time that provide the participating parties with a chance to establish mutual trust, lasting respect, open lines of communication, and overall harmony. The passage of time allows parties in a relationship to develop a resilience so when things do go wrong or when disagreements occur, the connecting thread is strong enough to bend but not break.

I think of my own relationship with my daughter. Over the years we have had our share of ups and downs, but to this day are very close. Despite periodic misunderstandings or miscues, we are credible enough with each other to continue moving forward in a healthy and mutually-supportive way. Ideally, the same can and should hold true for various entities that seek to establish ties with different publics. Professional communicators are in the relationship business. Further, the public relations profession has evolved into a co-creational dynamic defined by bringing publics coming together to address matters of common interest. Unlike running errands on a Saturday afternoon, there are no short cuts to making connections last.

Stream of Communication Thoughts

Communication is an act. An action. Any kind of behavior or verbal pronouncement not only transmits a message, but it also triggers some kind of reaction. People on the receiving end of another's statement or action either initiate some kind of physical reaction or response of their own or, at the very least, draw an opinion. As a result, with the act of communicating comes power. Take an office supervisor, for instance. If this person has a a casual relationship with the truth, then you can bet that kind of communicating will directly influence how they are perceived by their staff. On the other hand, if the supervisor demonstrates a deep commitment to being honesty, then the reaction it ignites will be a whole lot better not only for them but for the entire organization. The bottom line: those in-charge need to use their power carefully and communicate responsibility.

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Recently, I had the pleasure of listening to one of the giants of public relations, Thomas Hoog, talk to a group of budding communication students. One observation he shared was the great revolution our society has seen over the past several decades in terms of technological advancements. This revolution, he said, would not have happened without communication. He's absolutely correct. It would not be possible for me and thousands of others to blog, for instance. Additionally, being diagnosed with cancer is no longer akin to being given an automatic death sentence thanks to many hard working scientists as well as to those communicators who worked equally hard at helping those medical researchers advance their findings. Hoog's point was that the communication industry continues to play a vital role in the world. This role, he said, will continue to expand.

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Words matter. A man who lived that credo in a very public and honorable way recently passed away. I speak of William Safire, speech writer, New York Times columnist, and author. Safire was a warrior when it came to defending the English language. More often than not I did not agree with his politics, but I always greatly respected his great reverence for the beauty of our language. In many ways, he was one the English language's finest cheerleaders. Given the rise of public officials and personalities who do not seem to be all that articulate, I can only hope Safire's work will be carried on by others.

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I have been writing this blog now for approximately 14 months; nearly 130 entries. The comments I have received have been underwhelming. But I love doing this and will continue. If nothing else, it provides me with a great outlet to write about about a subject and field I love. At the same time, I welcome any one who might be reading this from time to time or might happen to stumble upon it, to share your thoughts with me and others. There is nothing I would like better than to include ongoing exchanges with readers in my blog.

The Same Rules

There are two criteria that must be met if effective communication is to occur: both parties must be playing by the same rules and be acting in good faith. If not, then it is just not going to happen. You end up having two people or groups talking at each other and, when they are finished, nothing has been advanced. A simple example of this would be two people who cannot speak the same language. Unless the two shift to a form of communication they both understand, such as physical gestures, then any connection between the two will not occur. Fortunately, if the two people are acting in good faith and genuinely wish to communicate, then they will make that necessary shift.

Another, more timely example of two communicators not playing by the same rules is seen in the health care debate going on right now between republicans and democrats in Congress. It is apparent to me that members of our country's two major political parties are not playing by the same rules and are not acting in good faith. What makes this debate so frustrating is that they all definitely speak the same language, both say they recognize the nation's health care system needs to be revamped, and both even agree more people need to have easier access to health care. Despite that, progress and ultimate consensus on this important seems stuck. Why? Because many of these elected officials who claim to want more health care for Americans really do not. They are happy with things as they are for philosophic reasons or because they do not wish to anger those that support them with money and votes. Still, that does not stop them from going through the charade of participating in discussions over ways to expand and improve the nation's health care system.

So, what is one to do when one of the communicators is not shooting straight? Whether it is the specific case of the republicans and democrats or discussions involving two individuals, there are two primary options: try getting at the root of the disagreement by creating a safe environment in which the non-straight shooter can feel comfortable enough to share their real agenda; or simply walk away and proceed in a manner you think best. Generally, people should not be forced to cooperate. But nor should they mislead. At the same time, trying to honestly communicate with someone who does not want to reciprocate is totally misguided. Communication at its best is a two-way street. When it's not, it digresses into a frustrating, shallow dance. Life is too short for that to be allowed any longer than necessary.

The Benefit of Experience

Not too long ago I talked with a group of Air Force officers involved with public affairs work on the challenges of risk and crisis communication. The presentation went well as much because of their input and willingness to engage themselves in the topic than anything I had to share with them. Given their years in the military, they all had stories to tell, information to share and lessons to impart. As they talked I could not help but accept the reality that while I may be the one sitting at the table carrying the title of "teacher," it was they who truly deserved that label. At the conclusion of the two hour session, I walked away feeling as if I gained more from that encounter than did they.

In all fairness to me for a moment, I do not wish to suggest that I had nothing to share or did not provide them with useful information I feel I did. At the same time, given their collective experience of serving overseas, living in combat situations, standing tall in potentially explosive encounters, providing emotional support to the families and friends of fallen comrades, and being responsible for the handling of hundreds of thousands, even millions of dollars of equipment, what I brought to the table could not match their impressive backgrounds and histories.

This entry, then, is a tip of the hat to those with experience. To my good fortunate, these men and women with whom I spent several hours, had plenty experience to spare and share. And if that was not enough, they also shared some of their wisdom in ways that gave life and added meaning to the theories and research I brought with me. Unlike all the times in my life I have purchased a lottery ticket, in this situation I came out a definite winner. Experience does matter. Perhaps its greatest benefit is that it propels knowledge that comes primarily from book-learning to a greater height. Those Air Force professionals had a winning combo of tools when it comes to communication: knowledge and experience.