Battle Royal

There is a very graphic scene in Ralph's Ellison's classic "Invisible Man" in which multiple African American men are brought together by well-to-do southern White men and forced to fight until there is only one left standing. At that point, that person is given some sort of cash prize along with the cheers of the fight's witnesses for putting on an enjoyable show. It is a disturbing scene made all the more so by Ellison's wonderful prose. (By the way, reading this book - published 65 years ago - is much like being in the presence of greatness. The clarity of Ellison's story and the strength of the theme remain current.)   

This battle royal is not unlike what many of us witness on the array of interview talk shows in which guests of opposing views along with the host often end up talking over each other in an attempt to be the last person standing or, in their own minds, "win the day" by out talking the others. More often than not, it is a hollow victory. The times I have watched such a scene occur has not only left me unenlightened, it has also turned me off turned me off by all of the guests even if it is folks with whom I normally agree. They have done a disservice to themselves and, just as importantly, to the topic itself.

Effective communication is not about "winning." Instead, it is about properly putting forth one's thoughts or perspective in a respectful manner that enables the person on the receiving end to communicate likewise. Such a description may seem simplistic but the fact is we as a society seem to be seeing a lot less of it than ever. Effective communication is about civil discourse and not about out-arguing or talking-over others. Debating speaks more to the concept of winning. Effective communication is far more about "doing" or the act of interaction. I, for one, long for the day when we see far more of than we do verbal battle royals.