Reciprocity Principle

"I scratch your back, then you scratch mine." How many times have we heard that expression or even used it ourselves? Countless, I'm sure. This is the essence of what social psychologists view as the reciprocity principle. People tend to give back what they have received from others. If you are nice to me, then I will be nice to you. This principle represents the foundation of spoken and unspoken understandings between people that provides parameters in which they behave toward each other. Without such a belief, people behave in ways which only suit. They have no predisposition to treat others in a particular way, nor do they concern themselves with how others behave toward them.

This principle often is seen in how people communicate with each other. If a person talks respectably to another, then usually they themselves are treated respectably in return. A breakdown occurs if one behaves outside that conventional norm without the blessing or support of others. Without mutual buy-in, there is a lack of balance in any interaction. For instance, two people are talking when suddenly one gets angry and begins screaming at the other. The one being screamed at tries to calm the one who is upset. The two, at this point, are not communicating in any balanced or reciprocal way.

Communication works best when reciprocity is at-play. This, it should be acknowledged, does not guarantee successful interaction. But it sure makes the chances of success or the achievement of mutual understanding and respect greater. Each of us enter into any kind of exchange with certain expectations that how we communicate will be matched in-kind. Such an expectation, though understandable, is fragile unless both parties agree that they will communicate with each other in a certain way. Without such an agreement, then an interaction lacks order and is more open to chaos and breakdowns. Reciprocity is the key.