Conflict and Communication

Conflict is one of those words that in many ways has gotten a bum rap over the years. We hear of a conflict and immediately the image of two people involved in a shouting match or, worse yet, countries in armed battle. The reality of those images is unpleasant and disturbing. Who wants that? On a personal level, conflict is something many of us avoid even at the risk of putting off conversations that are necessary in order to address a sensitive issue. Life, after all, is at its best when all sailing is smooth and there are no bumps or rocky situations with which to contend.

But there is an upside to conflict. With the proper communication, it can actually be of benefit to any relationship or organization. Take a family situation, for example, where finances are an issue. Money can often be a sensitive topic, especially when things are tight and people have different priorities. At the same time, however, it needs to be addressed, particularly if a family is going to successfully navigate times when they are economically challenged. If the parties involved approach such a conversation with respect and love and openness - all solid criteria for successful communication - then their ideas can be expressed and shared. There is much higher opportunity for such a conflict to not get out of hand or turn ugly. When given an opportunity to be heard, people develop a greater sense of ownership and responsibility toward achieving the greater good rather than just pursuing their own desires. Such a scenario requires good faith listening.

Conflict in the work place in the work place is another example. If carried out in a similarly open and good faith manner, then it can provide workers with an opportunity to be heard and feel as if they are playing a more significant role in the success of their organization. As a result, their morale is raised. At the same time, conflict can also motive managers to better articulate their own vision and strategic thinking. The bottom line is people feel more connected rather than put-off or alienated.

Conflict or differences of opinion are not always easy to deal with, especially when emotions are running high. But those same emotions can be turned from negative to positive with the proper communication. While even the best or most effective communication won't eliminate negative conflict entirely, it can reduce it and help make unpleasant encounters much more constructive.