Lessons From a Cat

I am a dog person. I think they are fun and comforting. But this is not to say I do not like other animals and other pets. While I would not say goldfish as pets, for instance, are great, I will concede they are low maintenance. I like cats, too, but not as much as dogs. At present, however, we have two cats in our house. One is social and prefers being around people. As far as the other goes, I can only assume it must have had a traumatic "kittenhood" experience because it seems as if its one goal in life each day is to avoid contact with any other living creature. My guess is if we did own a goldfish, then this cat would do all it could to avoid any kind of interaction with that as well. But this entry is not about that particular cat but rather about the one that is more social.

Several months ago I was quietly reading while the cat was lounging next to me. With one hand I was holding the book and the other stroking the animal's back. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, the cat bit me. I was surprised and annoyed because I did not - and still don't if you must know - feel I was doing anything to deserve that. Since then, the same thing has happened twice to my wife. What's the deal here? The answer, I believe, lies in our not exhibiting good communication skills.

Cats, like all animals, have limited tools of communication. For instance, they are not like telemarketers whose communication abilities seem to run the full spectrum of calling us during dinner or at 9 o'clock on Sunday evenings. But I digress. The cat was letting us know it did not want to be scratched. My guess is, if we had been paying closer attention to this audience of one, then we might have noticed earlier signals the cat was giving us before it resorted to biting. For communication to be successful, then the sender of messages needs to know their audience. At those particular times, we were focused more on our message of scratching - showing affection - than we were on the needs of the audience to whom it was intended. Unfortunately, our audience - the cat - did not want to be scratched. It was merely happy sitting next to us. Any time any of us attempt to communicate, it is important to develop a good sense of who or even what it is we are attempting to connect with. Audiences have needs and interests. We all do. We are more likely to be receptive to persons who speak to those needs and interests in ways we can best understand. If that does not happen, then we more likely to tune them out or express our displeasure in what is being said to us. It is important for communicators to be sensitive to this reality. Lesson learned. By the way, the cat is doing fine, but I still prefer dogs.